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Sunday, June 26, 2011

Short Story: Daddy, I love you

Here is a short story I wrote last year.

 I stare blankly at the wall in front of me, not knowing what to do next. It is approximately midnight and just a few more hours before I have to make the final decision. I can feel my heart being torn apart. How could I possibly choose between the two choices? How in the world is it possible for someone to make such a decision? I am very angry, frustrated and heart broken right this moment.
           
 I am angry at both of them for putting me in this position. I am frustrated and heart broken for being forced to choose only of them. How would you feel if you were to choose between one of your parents? Will you choose to be with your mother or father? Tough choice is it not? Well, in exactly seven hours I will have to come up with a conclusion.


Tears started to flood my eyes. Is it my fault my parents are separating? Am I the cause? We used to have so much good time together as a family. Just the three of us spending our lives together like any other family would. I remember just last year we were spending a great time at Beijing, China. Hold on a second, there was something that happened during that trip. It just slipped my mind after a while and I never really took the initiative to ask either one of them.



           
 We were there for two weeks and one the fifth day. I thought I heard something or someone. I searched through my mind, trying to recall exactly what happened. “You know I love you, just give me some time. I’ll work things out, alright?” I heard someone whispered quietly. Was it my dad?

            I knocked on the door. “Dad, are you in there?” I asked while the door creaked open. My father quickly slammed the phone down. He turned to face me, his face looking quite pale. “Are you alright, dad? Are you sick?” I asked, concerned at his paleness. “I’m fine my dear. Just a bit stuffy in here, let’s go get some fresh air, shall we?” he assured me and hurried me out the room.       


     We walked along the garden of the hotel. Every corner is planted with beautiful flowers of various colors. Just like the garden of an imperial palace during the olden days. I looked at my father, he seemed to be troubled. Who was he whispering to and what was it about? Should I ask him? I let out a huge sigh.

            “What’s the matter, honey? Something bothering you?” my father asked me instead. I battled with myself, is it better to know or not to know. I guess it is always better now to know. Maybe I heard wrongly or I was hallucinating, like in the dramas. “I’m fine. Nothing is wrong. Dad, where is mum at now? I haven’t seen her all morning?” I asked, realizing I haven’t seen my mum around anywhere.
           
His expression changed. “She went to out to meet her friend from around here. She will be back to join us for lunch and later we’re going to climb the great wall. So what would you like to have for lunch, honey? You will need all the energy you need to climb the great wall. Just so you know, it’s one extremely huge wall”, my dad exaggerated the huge word and did his funny gestures.


I laughed out loud looking at his gestures which never failed to make me crack. “Stop it dad. I might die laughing and will never get to climb that huge wall” I tried to copy his gesture but failed miserably. We both laughed at our own hilarious act. “Alright, love. Shall we check at the concierge where to eat around this area before we go and tackle the wall?” he asked. I nodded and we headed to the concierge.


            I blinked at my faded memory. So, my father said something that day to someone and it was certainly not my mother. Was it his secret lover that he was having an affair with? He was talking to his mistress when we were on our family trip. He was thinking of her all the time. No wonder mother preferred to be off alone during our vacation. She knew it even then, about their affair. I slammed my fist to the wall. My right knuckle hurts a lot but not as much as my heart right now.
          
  It was his fault. How could it be? I love him more than anything in the world. I love both of them more than my own life. I rather trade myself for their love for each other. I cried hard, unable to control the feelings that are currently conquering my senses. Alright, I will go with my mother. It was his fault they have to split.
           
I closed my eyes, trying to get some sleep before the morning arrives. At least, I will know what to do when the time comes. It felt like just mere seconds I shut my eyes. I glanced at the clock it is seven on the dot. The time has come for me to bid farewell to one of the most precious person in my life. I got up, grabbed my suitcase and headed downstairs.
           
I walked slowly down the staircase that seems to have a thousand steps. The television is on but neither of them is focused on it. Instead, they seem to be far away in their own thoughts. “Good morning, honey” my father greeted as soon as he saw me approaching. I ignored him, and walked straight to my mother.
           
She smiled at my action. “So, I guess you have made your decision, Lucy” my mother asked, checking her assumption. I nod slightly, I can feel my heart aching with pain but it was his fault. I will not give in no matter how much I love him. I peeked at my father’s expression. He looks very much in pain and agony. “Lucy my dear, are you following your mother?” he asked slowly, forcing his words out. I put my head down and uttered, “Yes, I am”.


If my sight is not failing me I think I see tears welling up in his eyes. Rage rise up from within me and I stood up, yelling at the top of my voice. “I hate you. It was your fault for having an affair. I knew about it all along, you were talking to her during our family trip at Beijing last summer. I love you so much, dad but you caused me so much pain. Why dad? Why? If you love me you wouldn’t have done it but you did. I love you from the bottom of my heart, more than anything in the world but it’s killing me inside. So please, I don’t want to see you anymore” my words gradually came out softer and softer.


It’s too late to turn back. I made my decision and I will live with it. My father got up from his favourite red sofa I bought him last Christmas. He walked right in front of me and hugged me tightly. “I’m so sorry, Lucy. I love you more than anything in the world. You’re my life, Lucy. I’m so very sorry. I won’t hurt you anymore, I promise” he whispered into my ear.


It has been weeks passed after I decided to live with my mother. Everything seems to be on autopilot these days. I hardly talk to my friends anymore, neither am I talking to my mother very often. She doesn’t seem to want to talk to me either. She is always busy, coming back late every night. I don’t blame her though. She must be working hard being a single mother, trying to bring me up on her own.


However, my heart feels very empty. As though something has been ripped off and nothing is able to replace it. Ignoring my emotions, I flip through today’s newspaper. Suddenly, something caught my attention. A headline which says, single father successfully fulfilled his death wish. I read the article with my fingers crossed. My heart sank, I dropped the newspaper. I cried out loud, shouting in pain.


This cannot be happening, it is not true, a lie, it has to be. I dialed my mother’s phone number at the speed of light. I need to talk to her this instant. It went to her voice mail. Not knowing what to do, I called her office number. “Hello, Amanda from IMU Corporate speaking. How may I help you?” someone answered. “May I speak to Mrs. Brighton, I’m her daughter” I said, my voice shaking. “I’m sorry; she’s not in right now. Would you like me to leave her a message?” she offered.


“Do you know where she might be? I need to talk to her personally” I asked. “She’s most probably at Mr. Wilber’s house. She’s always there after noon. Here’s the address…..” I scribbled down the address and rushed off. My mind is blank and numb. I think my father just committed suicide and my mother is at some guy’s place.


I rang the doorbell and there she was opening the door to someone by the name of Wilber’s house. “What are you doing here, Lucy?” she questioned me. “Hey honey, who is that at the door?” someone shouted from inside. She shut the door behind her, pulling me to one side. “What are you doing here, Lucy? Shouldn’t you be at home?” she held my arm tightly, it hurts.


“Let me go. I should be asking you. What are you doing at some guy’s house, mum? Who is he and is he the reason why you are always home after midnight or sometimes not even home at all? What do you do together? Hook up?” I found myself yelling at her. She slapped me across the face. “Lucy, watch how you speak. Go home now and stay out of my life” she shouted.


I stood there, looking at here straight in the eyes. “Is he your lover? Do you love him more than me?” I asked, calmly. “Yes, he is. We have been together ever since you were born. It’s because your dad was only interested in you after I gave birth to you. He only cared about you and everything was about you. I felt so lonely and then I met Wilber. He gave me something your dad wouldn’t anymore because of you. Just so you know it was not your dad that was having an affair. I was surprised actually that you wanted to follow me because I thought you loved him more than anything in the world but when you made that decision I wanted to keep you just to hurt him further. You should have seen the pain you caused him when you shouted those words at him. It was more than death could bring. Are you satisfied now that you know the truth? Now leave me alone and go home. Don’t try to pull anything funny” she shoved me aside and went back into the house.


I drag myself slowly out the porch. Absorbing everything I just heard a few seconds ago. So, it was not my father’s fault. He did not do anything to hurt me. It was my mother he spoke to when I heard him that day. It was my mother having an affair and not he. He loved me more than anything in the world and I yelled at him those spiteful words. I yelled at him words of pain and agony, more than death could bring him.


            Tears started flowing down my cheeks. I missed you father, where are you? Why did you leave me? I am so sorry, please come back. Everything is too late, he will not come back. Perhaps I could go and find him. I stopped at the side of the road, it is clear. I waited, the traffic light turned green. I smiled, “I’m coming, father”.
The end.

6 comments:

  1. It is composed nicely! :D Its super touching!! Love it very much!! :D
    keep up the good work! :D
    AMY!!!! KEEP IT UP! :D

    -natalie.-

    ReplyDelete
  2. Omg, The mum is such a b*tch.

    ReplyDelete