One lesson I learned as I turn 21 this year

This is it, guys. I have finally turned 21 years old. At 21 years old, I do feel that I have changed drastically compared to if you would have known me 3 or 4 years ago.

At 21 years old, I have learned quite a number of things. Most importantly, I learned some of the knick and knacks of being human. In the beginning of this year, when I experienced health failure and eventually depression, anxiety and panic attacks, I learned that in life, there are people whom deserve to be in our life and some who don't. Those who deserve or simply put, are worth my trust and time are those who stood by me when I am at my lowest.

Then, there are those who truly just does not give a damn about us and thus, does not deserve to be worthy of our friendship. Along with this realisation, I also came to learn that the world does not owe us anything. The art of being human is simple, we are not obliged to anybody, that's a fair argument. Thus, some people despite being seemingly good to you at first could just turn on you for perhaps no reason at all because there are not bonded to you, right? After telling myself that this argument is fair and valid, I then, teach myself one thing, keep people who are truly sincere to you close to the heart and throw those who takes you for granted away as easy as throwing out trash.

Thanks to this early lesson in the beginning of this year it made my life very simple and from then on people who treat me like I am trash were discarded from my life.

If you are someone who have gone through health failure you will understand my new principle in life. When you are lying down in a hospital bed from morning to night, have needles going through your veins, going for surgery, looking out the window and wishing you weren't in pain and still have to take shit from people whom you thought was your friend then you will understand that it is okay to just let people go.

We do not need a million and one people in our lives. We just need our family members (who are probably the only people in the world who will never turn their back on you else your life is screwed up), your loved one and a few friends who are truly sincere to us.

Therefore, in celebration of my coming of age I would like to mention people whom I am grateful towards. I might have mentioned these people a few times already but in life, it does not hurt to show how grateful you are from time to time.

*It is understood that I am forever grateful to my family members AND Tee Wei-Lim my boyfriend*

So here's a shout out to these people AND a little description to go along with it.

1. David Nge Chee Keen: He's quiet but at 23 years old I admire his thirst for knowledge & to be honest, his wisdom at such a young age. So positive and an amazing friend to talk to. 
2. Richard Moh: An old soul, fluffy on the outside but if you take time and listen to him, you will learn things you never would from text books AND how dull would my life be if I didn't have him to always keep me company?
3. Kavidha Natarajan: Someone whom I will always call in times of need. She's level headed, she listens and does not act rashly. She's someone you need when you're messed up.
4. Kimberly Yong: I love you dear, we don't see each other that often but it has never felt like we weren't there for each other even for a day. You're a kind and beautiful person. 
5. Yuet Ting: I've known her for 15 years. We've been together for 15 years. Primary school, high school and then now. She's still the kind hearted girl I met at 7 years old. I love you too.
6. Wan Sin: When I see her I feel calm, I want a hug and she will give me a hug. She is an adventurous soul too.
7. Imran: His wisdom reflects the years of learning he has had but again, so fluffy on the outside, if only we could take time to listen to what he has learned in life instead.
8. Alex Wong: Is there a word to describe, funny, profound, slightly bimbo yet sometime serious, spiritual and charismatic combined? Oh there is, Alex. 
9. Raymond: Heart of gold. I will never be as pure and sincere as Raymond so I am so grateful for someone like him in my life. He reminds you that no matter how ugly the world is you don't have to drag yourself down to that level. 
10. Carmen Lee: I secretly want to learn from what she learns in her everyday life that she shares with us because I think someone who wants to keep learning like her is admirable. 
11. Lilian: What can I say, a good friend is hard to find. A good and selfless friend like Lilian is even harder to find. So I will keep you forever and not let you go. 
12. Elicia: We have common topics to talk about all the time *coughmainlyrantingaboutourboyfriendcough* What more can I say.... we understand each other's pain (kidding)

These are the people that I want to thank for being with me the past few years. Thank you for impacting me in one way or another. 

*There's also amazing people whom I treasure such as Yen Li, Wai Yee, James, Marcus, my current AMAXING team mates.... so to you guys, you rock*

I'm 21 years old now. You won't be able to find Amy Version 1.0 anymore but look forward to Amy Version 5.0 etc in the future. 

To the future Amy, this is you at 21 years old. You have not learn all there is to learn yet, so keep moving forward and may you learn more there is to life in the future. 

Cheers,

Amy Lim (21 years old, 23 July 2014)

Not everyone is living life

Letter to my future self #2

Dear Amy,

Yes, it is that time of the year again. Final exam period~

However, I just felt like writing to you another letter today because I overheard our dad said these few words, "Just live the days". You know we have always admired our dad, right? From time to time again he seem to give advices or say things that just makes so much sense. Amy, are you living life now?

Going to work from 9AM to 6PM everyday; earning money, spending money; meet new dead lines; meet expectations; repeat routine seven days a week, four weeks a month, 12 months a year.....this is not living life. If you are going through life repeating a day to day job then you are not living life. Living life is making a difference to the earth you are walking on; go out and plant a tree, support a recycling campaign, take the weekend off and visit the orphanage, spend some time at the old folks home, visit some old friends and see what is going on with their lives.

Moreover, are you neglecting some people because of your career? Do not forget, Amy that your end goal is not the pay check your job promises you; that is just a tool you need to achieve your end goal. Your end goal is to live a happy life and provide for your parents and family. Therefore, are you neglecting your end goal? Have dinner with your family every night, make sure your brother is adjusting to university well, do not forget to check on with Wei-Lim's well-being (is he stress up with work too?). There's so much one overlooks if they are too engrossed with their career, don't fall into that category.

Remember, the world we live in, the materialistic world that is, is created by humans. People created currency, big corporations, endless demand and supply cycles, commercials, technology. All these were created by human in vain. Do we really need to earn so much to fall prey to these endless and limitless cycle of cat and mouse? No, we do not. Life, just live it comfortably.

Do whatever it takes to provide enough for yourself and your family and live life the way you have always imagined it to be but do not forget your promises when you were younger. Stay true to your beliefs and principles. Do not let the ugly harsh poisonous world change you. Should there be change make it a good one. Change for the better and not the worst.

I know you can do it, Amy. Nothing has ever stopped you from achieving your dreams and goals so do not give up now.

Signing off, 20 years old Amy
Date: 30 June
Residing at: Clayton, Australia

Love you.

The world owes us nothing

Letter to my future self #1

Dear Amy,

Hey, it's me, Amy in year 2014. I am currently in Australia. Easter holidays have just ended and classes are starting on Wednesday. I have been in Australia for almost 3 months now and the things I have learned are amazing. The reason I am writing this now Amy, is because I want to remind you that the world owes you nothing. Perhaps you might be going through obstacles in life right now. Perhaps you are unsatisfied with your job or maybe some things did not go according to plan but hey, it is okay. 

This letter should come in handy to serve as a wake up call, Amy. The world owes you nothing. If you want something, go for it, it would not come to you. If there is something holding you back from achieving something, face it head on and do not surrender. Often times, you might think your personal achievements is suppose to have everything fall into place by itself but that is not how it works. Nothing will or should go according to your favor just because you think you deserve it. Everything you want fulfilled must happen because of your own effort. 

Perhaps you do not remember what you have learned in Australia, let me remind you. Remember waking up to the days where you would find yourself unable to walk? Well, you did not let that stop you from going on about life as usual. You still had to do your chores, assignments, cook, do the laundry and etc. Remember that one night you had a panic attack? Well, you have to take care of yourself regardless of what happens because nobody is responsible for you. Remember those missed opportunities (conferences, networking sessions, study abroad in Italy) ? Those were missed opportunities because you decided not to go for it. Those opportunities were not obligated to be yours, if you want something, you have to work towards it, it does not come to you. 

There, there Amy, you might be wondering why is the world so unjust, unfair and biased. However, it is not. The world works this way; it is an empty canvas, if you want to leave a mark on it, you have to paint on it with your own effort. 

That is all for now. Remember, "The world owes us nothing". Whatever you are going through right now, brighter days will come so just be a little braver, hold on a little tighter and everything will be alright.

Love, Amy (20 years old; 28 April 2014 in Melbourne, Australia)